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QUESTION: Is there a biblical definition of romance? Pat and Terry, what's your description of romance? It's always good to know what both sexes think.

PAT ROBERTSON: The whole concept of the romantic love that we have in today's world, you didn't have it in the Bible. The Bible talks about three kinds of love. One was the phileo kind of love, the brotherly love. It's where we get the word Philadelphia. It's the good friend, family kind of love. There was another kind of love, eros, from which we get the word erotic. It was just a sexual kind of attraction. The other was agape, which is God's love. It is a giving kind of love. That's the kind of love the Bible talks about, primarily as Christians, is that you give yourself to someone else. You know marriages back then were arranged. The idea that 'Oh, I fell in love' just wasn't in the biblical jargon, because it was a lifetime commitment of two people together to serve the Lord and to bring up godly children.

It says, 'Husbands, love your wives even as Christ loved the church' (Ephesians 5:25). This was a giving thing. The husband was to give himself for his wife, and to love and cherish her as he does his own body.

TERRY MEEUWSEN (to Pat): You and Dede have been faithfully married for many years. You have four great kids. Do you do anything special on Valentine's Day?

PAT: Last year, it was a romantic dinner. I think there was even an orchestra. My wife likes to dance.

TERRY: Wow, that's great! That is very romantic.

PAT: Is that romantic?

TERRY: Yes. I think that is one of the things that for me as a woman would be very important: just to know that my husband wanted to spend time with me and that you know what she likes.

QUESTION: Are people really made for each other? Do you think there is just one person out there for everyone?

PAT: Again, I don't know any such thing like that in the Bible. You can think that God has a spouse for everyone. He says He puts people together in families (Psalm 68:6), so, in a sense, God will do that. I do believe that if you will let Him, He will pick somebody for you that will be perfect.

TERRY: That kind of thinking sometimes, don't you think, brings a problem into a relationship that is not working, because you automatically assume 'Boy, I must have picked the wrong person.'

PAT: And also, then I have leave by God to break this one up and go get another one.

TERRY: Yes, that somebody is waiting for me out there.

PAT: There are so many unrealistic expectations. In my opinion, love comes about over the years of shared experiences, shared struggles, shared pain, shared joy, the building of a family, the building of a home. All these things you put together and that is what is the real love.

TERRY: We were talking about arranged marriages the other day on the program. I think we were doing a story on India, where that frequently happens. That is certainly true in an arranged marriage. I mean, there is just a commitment there that this is who you are going to be with the rest of your life and you either make it or break it depending on your attitude.

PAT: If they take the biblical mandate of loving one another, serving one another, and being united in Christ, then that love comes. It's God's love for them.

QUESTION: I'm a born-again believer in my late teens and want to know if it's OK to have a girlfriend, given all the temptations that might come from being in a relationship?

PAT: It's a question of what is meant by the term have. To have a girlfriend in the sense of a relationship is perfectly all right, as long as that relationship doesn't turn into immorality. True love waits. The Bible says it is better to marry than to burn with lust (1 Corinthians 7:9), but there is certainly nothing wrong with young people dating and getting together. Some of these youth organizations think that going out in a crowd of three or four couples takes some of the pressure off. If you get more and more intense, those hormones will start working, and it won't be long before you are doing something you wished you hadn't. The best thing to do is to respect that other person and say true love waits.

QUESTION: I'm single and wondering how do you know if the man you are dating is 'the one'? I know I'm in love and long to get married. I've been praying but just can't seem to hear from God. Any suggestions?

PAT: God says don't forsake wisdom. God gave you a brain. It is not just your emotions. Think about the kind of man he is. Is he a Christian? If you are a Christian, you don't get married to somebody who is not a Christian. The second thing you ask yourself is this: Is he responsible? Is he intelligent? Is he able to provide for a household? Will he be a good father to your children? It wouldn't hurt to look a few generations back. It may sound cold-blooded, but some people have a history of really bad stuff. If you have an abusive father, you most likely will have an abusive son. Does he come from a long line of divorced families? Was there spousal abuse? What about his friends and the kind of things he enjoys. You could have shared mutual interests. This is something you do in your mind.

Beyond that, does he want to get married? You can ask the Lord, 'God, stop it if this isn't of You.'

TERRY: It's all about commitment and whether you are ready as well, so keep praying about it.

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