My husband is
taking Viagra and can't keep his hands off of me. Your thoughts?
PatRobertson.com
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QUESTION: My husband just began taking the drug Viagra, and
now can't seem to keep his hands off of me. We have been married for
30 years and never really had that great a sex life. I can't help but
think it's not me he's attracted to, but simply the Viagra luring him
into the bedroom. What are your thoughts?
PAT ROBERTSON: Well, as we pointed out once on this program -- and
it's true -- Viagra does not cause sexual desire. It merely enables a
man to perform sexually, who, up to that time, had some type of dysfunction,
a type of impotence so that he could not perform sexually. And your
husband undoubtedly enjoys you and loves you, and he probably has felt
badly over the years is because through his inability, he's not been
able to fulfill the role of a sexual partner that he would like. So
now something has come along that enables him to be the man he always
wanted to be. Viagra does not make a woman more attractive. It has nothing
to do with sexual desire, really. It just has to do with enabling him
to perform sexually. And so I wouldn't worry about it. I think I'd enjoy
it if I were you. Assuming you enjoy it.
QUESTION: I know this is a sensitive subject, but my husband
thinks by using little sex toys in the bedroom, it may spruce up our
love life. They're not vulgar things, but it still makes me a little
uncomfortable. I know the bedroom is supposed to be a sacred place,
and I wonder if it's OK for us to experiment with this type of behavior.
PAT ROBERTSON: There's a lot of stuff going on in the world
today. But the basis of sex, the greatest sex organ anybody has is the
brain, the emotional center. And the emotional center comes out of love
and affection and shared relationships. This isn't some mechanical gimmick
where you're trying to do little funny things with each other to heighten
the sensation. Some of the homosexuals use stuff they call poppers,
a nitrite substance that's supposed to heighten them. Some of them actually
take a rope and try to choke themselves just before they experience
some sexual climax to heighten it. Listen, that isn't what God put you
in this world for. What he wants you and your husband to do is to love
each other, not use gimmicks. Because the more gimmicks you have, the
more it becomes mechanical. And the more mechanical it does become,
the more sex is cheapened. Very simply the answer is don't do all that
stuff because it's not wise. In fact, if you begin to move toward mechanical
devices, then all of a sudden, it's a pornographic video. Then the next
thing you know, it's menage a trois. It's always some other gimmick.
TERRY MEEUWSEN: Now let me ask you: It sounds to me like this
husband has initiated this. So how does the wife approach him? Does
she say, `I'm uncomfortable with this and I don't want to do this?'
PAT ROBERTSON: Well, you know, the thing is to sit down and
say, `You know, I love you and I know you love me. And let's ask the
Lord to heighten our relationship in every aspect. You know, there's
a union of a couple in the the spirit, in the mind and in the body.
It's a triple coupling. And this is cheapening our relationship.' And
you need to sit down and talk to him and say, `Honey, I know you're
trying to do something nice to make me happy, but this isn't working,
and I feel bad about it. I feel like it's wrong. And I would ask that
you just let this be an expression of our love for one each another
and not some mechanical gimmick.' But she's got to talk. I mean, we
have to have frankness. You know, couples don't want to talk about it.
They just kind of turn the lights off and do it, but they don't want
to discuss it. So you need to discuss this with your husband what's
going on.
QUESTION: A friend of mine who is homosexual is considering
adopting a child. This particular child has been in a physically abusive
home, and my friend feels that he can at least give this child a loving
home. He wants my advice, and I'm not sure what to say. I've been trying
to lead my friend to Christ and just want to be cautious with my answer.
What would you suggest?
PAT ROBERTSON: You know, USA had a movie recently with Valerie
Bertinelli about lesbian couples and adoption, and so forth. And I know
about what happened when a young man was taken away from his Christian
mother by a court and given to his homosexual father. And the next thing
you know, that guy was a flaming homosexual, and if I'm not mistaken,
he contracted AIDS. I don't think that homosexuals, especially single
homosexual men, should be adopting children. I think it's just wrong.
I think for any single man to think of adopting a child is in itself
a dangerous practice because you don't have time, you don't have the
mothering instinct. If you have to go to work, how are you going to
take care of a child? It's very difficult to do for anybody that's single.
To take on somebody else's child is difficult enough, but to do so in
a homosexual environment where the contacts that the man is going to
be having -- his various male lovers coming in, and this youngster's going
to be exposed to all that? The answer is: this would be a terrible environment.
So if there's any way you can do it subtlety say, `Look, Jesus loves
you, but I think right now we ought to get you straightened out before
you start taking on some other responsibility.' A life of a child is
very significant, and that won't be a help for him.
QUESTION: I'm a wife, a mother of three and I work. How do I
know if I'm doing God's purpose for me? I constantly feel like I am
not doing enough. I wonder if that's Satan, as well. Do I wait for a
word from God, or do I go to find things to do to help other people?
PAT ROBERTSON: Tina, the biggest thing that everyone can do
is to pray, to pray for the world, to pray for the nation, to pray for
souls. But the most important thing Jesus said, `This is the work of
God, that they would believe on thee, Father and Jesus Christ, whom
thou has sent.' The greatest work that we do is to believe him and to
trust him. And so I would recommend before you start worrying about,
`Well, I've got to go down to the old folks home or I've got to, you
know, cook meals for the hungry or whatever,' spend time with the Lord
and grow in your relationship with him. That's the most important thing.
And then out of that, God may put a burden on your heart: `All right.
Let's witness to the man sitting or the woman sitting next to me at
the office,' or something. But don't let that guilt come upon you. That
isn't necessary. God doesn't send you guilt, but what he would like
to do is draw you into intimacy with himself. What God desires more
than anything else is not our work, it's our fellowship. And if we give
him the fellowship, then out of that will come these other things, but
it'll be in the spirit. It'll be easy.
QUESTION: My wife and I are home schooling our five kids, and
we've run out of room. We'd like to get a larger house, but that will
leave us strapped for cash. Would it be against God's will to use some
of our tithe money to pay for a larger home?
PAT ROBERTSON: It's not a question of God's will or not will.
I mean, the money's yours, but if you want a blessing, he said, `Prove
me with your tithes and offerings if I won't open the windows of heavens
and pour you out such a blessing you cannot contain.' Buying another
home, a bigger home doesn't qualify under that definition. So you can't
expect the abundant blessing of God if you spend all your money on a
house payment. So I don't think that that is the appropriate attitude.
If you can find ways, I think the big thing you should do is to say,
`God, I'm going to give to you and I ask that somehow you'll provide
me sufficient funds to acquire this property if it be your will.' And
I think that's the way to go instead of saying, `Well, I'm going to
take my money for tithes and use it on a mortgage payment, or down payment
on a house.'
QUESTION: I clean houses on the weekend. And one of the houses
I clean -- every time I go in the basement -- I feel this really weird feeling
in my gut and I start sweating profusely. And I'm thinking there's something
evil in there. So what should I do? Should I stop cleaning that house,
or should I try to rebuke what's down there in the basement?
PAT ROBERTSON: You know, Jesus sent out his disciples two by
two. And I think for one cleaning woman to take on some evil force in
somebody's house -- who's knows what's there? I mean, I don't have any
idea. I've never been in the house. I presume you're sensitive to the
things of the Lord. But if the owners of the house want someone to pray
against this, and you can discuss it with them, then I definitely would
bring several people who know the Lord and you could anoint the house,
rebuke that thing and cast it forth. But I sure wouldn't go down to
the basement and take it on by yourself. You might wind up with more
trouble than it's worth. And in that situation, you can tell the owners
that it's been fun working for them, but you think you better find another
employer. But I do believe that you need more than one person, and that's
what I would advise. If you feel like you can talk to the to the people
who own the house, say, `I feel that there's an evil presence in this
home, and would it be ok if I brought some friends to pray over your
home.' Now they may think, `Well, you -- you're just a religious fanatic,'
and they don't want to talk to you about it. Then again, they might.
I just think that to get into a situation like that with one woman taking
on who knows what's there? And I just think with two or more, it's better.
QUESTION: I recently got a stock tip. But I'm wondering as a
Christian, should I be investing in a company that does genetic testing?
PAT ROBERTSON: I don't see anything wrong with genetic testing.
I think that the mapping of the human genome is considered a very fine
thing. It's going to lead to cures that will deal with many debilitating
diseases. And Genetech, for example, and others have brought through
some medical breakthroughs that have been very helpful to mankind. So
I can't see anything from an ethical standpoint of investing in them.
Now if the question is: Are they buying body parts from fetuses? Are
they doing stell cell research on aborted babies? When you get into
that, then you're looking at some ethical questions. But just in terms
of genetic research, there's nothing in the world wrong with that that
I can see.
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