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Marriage: Surrender and Discipline of Self

The biggest problem in marriage, they say, right now centers around money. How do you spend your money and what do you do with your money?

The money represents what you earn. And it is, in a sense, a token of your accomplishment. If you handle it properly, it leads to blessing. It is that simple.

If you handle it poorly, it is a problem.

What is terrible is to find one person responsible about money and the other one wasting it all of the time. It could be the husband or the wife, and it will tear you apart. It can destroy the financial fabric of your marriage and lead to bankruptcy.

If money is the major problem, lust is wanting it now. Whatever pleasure it is. And obviously before marriage or during marriage, it can be sex. But somebody sees something they want. They want a big house and want it now. They don't want to wait for it or build for it. They want it now.

They can't get it for the income they have so they take on enormous debt. There is a lender that will let you have a mortgage at high interest rates or let you buy a car.

I ran across somebody who bought a car and the car company charged this poor woman, a single mother with a child, 24 percent interest on a car loan on some junker that was overpriced to begin with. People get taken advantage of. Sometimes it is something they need and sometimes it is not.

Now the Bible says the debtor is the slave to the lender. So this is bondage. Debt is bondage. You go into debt and you go into slavery. And people come out of college owing more than $50,000 or $60,000. It is terrible. It is a terrible burden. What is needed is discipline. And that is sometimes a hard thing.

Many people, young people, haven't been taught discipline. Their parents haven't taught them discipline.
There is a budget they have to agree on. This is what we take in and this is what we are going to spend. And along with that, there has to be the thought of saving in the budget. There has to be giving. You have to give unto the Lord. And there has to be something built in it for saving.

When you begin to do that, you are building up something. You have hopes and dreams and save toward the home or college education. Money begins to accumulate and you let money work for you.

In marriage, the most important thing that we deal with is surrender of self. You surrender yourself to Jesus. And then you surrender yourself to one another.

The problem is that we decide we want it our way. I want this. This is the life style that I want. This is the pleasure that I want. This is what is good for me, instead of what is good for us.

The only way you are going to find that love is when you have the love of Jesus Christ that fills both of you and draws you together. And so each one surrenders to Jesus. And out of that, the love of Jesus brings you together. It is God's love. It is love from God that will permeate a marriage.

That is surrender. I am going to surrender my life to Jesus Christ and surrender my life to my spouse.

The apostle Paul said the husband's body doesn't belong to him, but the spouse. And the wife's body doesn't belong to her. It belongs to the husband. They are one. They are joined together as one.

If we have this concept, we love each other. We are part of the same body. Jesus Christ provides the glue.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
—Philippians 4:13

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